Soon afterwards, He (Jesus) began going around from one city and village to another, proclaiming and preaching the kingdom of God. The twelve were with Him…and many others who were contributing to their support out of their private means. Luke 8:1&3b
I have had to go back to this verse many times as we have walked through this partnership process, especially when it comes to the financial partners. It may be normal for this process, but I often find myself fighting a level of fear and shame. Fear that my excitement for God’s call on my life may across as desperate. Shame over what I feel others must be thinking about me, my past career and how I am following God in a new way of provision.
The passage above reminds me that Jesus had financial responsibilities just like everyone else during his time on earth. Just as He has led us to individuals that provided for us out their private means, His financials needs were met in the same way.
There is a “desperation” involved in this process. Though I borrowed this term and definition from a friend, it certainly mirrors my own heart’s desire. I have a Holy Desperation…to be where He is calling me and where He is leading my family. It is a deep-seated passion and desire, a feeling that could come bursting out of me at any moment as joy or sadness, frustration or excitement, that overwhelming urge that it is time to “go”…He placed that in me…He calls and urges me forward with it.
I have a Good Good Father who has called me into this new season, planned my way and provides for His call. I don’t have to feel fear or shame, because I am filled with a Holy Desperation to follow God where He is leading…and to not waste time doing so!